Many fathers wonder how a doula will affect their roll during labor and delivery. The aim of a doula is to strengthen and support that roll, never to usurp it. No one can take the place of  loving partner. The bond you have with your partner and the love that you share makes your participation in the birth of your child invaluable and unique. However, because a doula is experienced with childbirth she offers a calm objective presence that can bolster a couple’s confidence. A doulas job is to mother the father in much the same way she mothers the mother.

 

It has only been a relatively short time in human history that men have participated in the births of their children. Gone are the days when fathers paced the waiting room anxiously awaiting news of the birth of their child. Today’s fathers are often at the side of their partners offering physical support, helping in the decision making process, and most importantly doing what they do best, loving the mother. A doula can help the father in each of these areas without stepping on his toes. A doula can suggest position changes and physical comfort measures to the father; she can facilitate the communication between a couple and their caregiver by making sure all of the couple’s questions are answered; and she can assist the father in all the physical demands of labor support so that the father is better able to direct his energy towards loving and nurturing his partner.

 

Some fathers feel that their partner might require more physical and emotional support than they can provide. Often fathers feel uncomfortable in the role of the “birth coach”. This is perfectly healthy and normal; and by no means is it a reflection of the love a man has for his partner and baby! In these 

instances the addition of a doula to the birth team is perfect because she can offer an extra set of hands to enable the father to focus entirely on loving the mother and being present to witness the birth of his child. He is then free to participate at whatever level he is comfortable with.

 

When doulas and dads work together a laboring woman is provided for by both a confident birth professional with whom she can relate as a woman and a loving partner who is invested in her life and the life of her child. Doulas and dads make the perfect birth team! 

 

*I have chosen to use the term Dad and Father in this section because I feel as though they are the terms that will most often apply. However, this is not meant to exclude or minimize the many other types of partners that exist. Families are made by many different combination of loving people, and all of those families are sacred.